IMPACT ON THE PHYSICAL HEALTH OF WOMEN IN POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGE

 

IMPACT ON THE PHYSICAL HEALTH OF WOMEN IN POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGE 

Article 9 based on the data published by BMMA in ‘Breaking the Silence’ https://notionpress.com/in/read/breaking-the-silence-1410178808-1410178808 

Let’s look at the impact on the physical health of the first wife. She starts to suffer from blood pressure [40%], loss of sleep [45%], migraine [34%], body pain [27%] and joint pains [21%], menstrual issues [15%]. Although for more clarity there is a separate article to assess mental health impact, just the physical impact is overwhelming. Most of these ailments require regular medication and doctor visits. The ailments do not give her enough bandwidth to take up and job and earn, to look after small children and manage all the stress. All the above ailments are debilitating, giving very limited physical strength to go on with life. We all know what happens to us when we have not slept well or when migraine hits us or when there is a nagging, chronic body ache. All this because a man thinks it is his right to marry more than one woman.

The data reveals a significant disparity in physical health outcomes between first and second wives, indicating that the emotional and social consequences of polygamy translate into tangible health impacts, especially for the first wife.

• First wives are consistently more affected across every health indicator, suggesting that emotional distress, insecurity, and neglect following the husband’s second marriage have direct physiological consequences.
• The high rates of hypertension (35.9%) and sleep loss (45.3%) strongly imply psychosomatic stress linked to marital strain.
• In contrast, second wives report comparatively better health, likely due to greater attention, emotional validation, and social status during the early years of their marriage.
• The gap in reported “no health issues” (20% vs 51%) highlights a stark contrast in overall well-being.

Polygamous marriage exerts a disproportionate toll on the physical health of first wives, reflecting how emotional deprivation and competition translate into chronic illness. The findings indicate that polygamy not only destabilizes marital harmony but also undermines women’s physical well-being, creating a cycle of stress, illness, and medical dependency. The gap is compelling. 12 % of first wife compared to 5% of second wife have diabetes. Almost 15% of first wife compared to 8% of second wife have menstrual issues. 27% of first wife compared to 9% of second have body aches and pains. The numbers clearly indicate that the first wife suffers more.

When we checked with the action that women take to look after themselves. A large portion of women [32%]. Almost equally high (31.9%) visited government or charitable health centres, showing reliance on affordable care. 17.8% could not afford treatment, highlighting economic barriers. 16.8% used home remedies, and 14.9% engaged in physical activity to manage stress, indicating informal/self-care methods are common. Only 2.1% reported doing regular exercise, suggesting low preventive health behavior. 10% did not face any health issues, possibly due to youth, lifestyle, or underreporting. Overall, the data suggests that economic factors, access to care, and self-managed solutions play a major role in how individuals deal with health, while preventive behaviors like exercise remain minimal.

The shock and humiliation of the second marriage has an immediate physical impact. The body goes into a shock followed by the pain of being betrayed. Anger is predominant, fear is inevitable and a long term experience of these emotions can have long standing damage on the body. Constant headaches, sleep disturbances, fatigue, body aches, joint pains then feed into more stress and the loop continues. The body keeps accumulating the pain which keeps getting added as more stress and crisis unfold. Many years of single handedly shouldering the responsibilities of raising children, managing home and finances takes it’s toll on the body with entrenched long term chronic illnesses.

If the second marriage has happened after a long gap then the second wife is also much younger and hence less ailments. She is also not yet burdened with marriage conflicts, child birth and other related stressors. First wife being already older may have already been experiencing various ailments.

Physical ailments begin with the mind anyway. Because she suffers emotionally, her body stores all the mental aches and pains. Feeling replaced, unimportant and dispensable affects her self-worth and dignity and that has a huge impact on her body.

It is not to say that the second wives do not suffer at all. The numbers do show that she too suffers. But a large part of the impact is definitely on the first wife.

 

IMPACT OF POLYGAMY ON RELATIONSHIP

 

IMPACT OF POLYGAMY ON RELATIONSHIP

Article 8 based on the data published by BMMA in ‘Breaking the Silence’ https://notionpress.com/in/read/breaking-the-silence-1410178808-1410178808 

We looked at the impact which the first wives felt on their relationship. 54% of the husbands stopped living with their wives. This indicates severe marital breakdown where more than half of husbands are physically and emotionally absent in the relationship after the second marriage. They are just not there. When a person is not around physically what can a woman do? She is then forced to manage her life and the lives of the children. She just does not have any choice.

28% spend less time with their first wife. It reflects partial breakdown, emotional neglect and reduced companionship. A couple in a marital relationship are suppose to be there for each other. There is no room for one more relationship. And if that happens the neglect begins. The time is divided and so is the attention. There is one more person who has an equal right over the husband’s time. The first wife did not bargain for this. Reduction in time spent also conveys that she is not important to him anymore.

25% reported increased fights between them. It suggests heightened conflict, insecurity and emotional strain. With husband not staying with the first wife or spending less time with her also indicates more friction and conflict. The increased fights impact her mental and physical health. It also must be impacting the husband’s mental and physical health but then it is of his own doing. Obviously, children are not spared. 20% of the husband neglected the children. It points to broader family impact, the husband’s divided attention affected parenting and children’s well-being. A child’s trajectory in life is highly influenced by its parent’s life. And the damage can be long lasting.

Wives Economic Dependency

First wives tend to face greater financial vulnerability after their husband’s second marriage. A large proportion, 40%, rely on their parents, and only 19% continue to receive maintenance from their husbands. About 34% were compelled to start working, indicating a shift toward economic self-reliance driven by necessity rather than choice. A small fraction (11%) depends on community aid from jamaat or masjid, underscoring a lack of formal support systems.

Second wives, on the other hand, are generally more financially supported by their husbands, 63.3% receive maintenance from them. Around 34.1% are employed, showing a similar participation in work as first wives but likely with more stability. Only 3.9% report having no source of maintenance, much lower than first wives.

Overall, the figures reveal that first wives experience a significant economic setback after polygamy, often becoming dependent or entering the workforce out of compulsion, while second wives tend to receive more consistent financial support from their husbands. This pattern points to an unequal distribution of resources and responsibilities between the two marriages.

Monthly Maintenance by the Husband  

The data shows that financial neglect is widespread among both first and second wives, but the burden falls more heavily on first wives. 40% of women (1,011 total) receive no maintenance at all, with first wives forming the majority (793). 23% say their husbands buy household items instead of giving cash — a form of control that limits women’s financial autonomy.

Only 32% receive regular cash maintenance, and within this group, most receive very small amounts: 5% below ₹2,000/month, 4% between ₹2,000–₹4,000 and only 6% receive more than ₹10,000/month. Second wives are more likely to receive moderate to higher levels of maintenance, while first wives dominate the “no maintenance” category.

The findings reflect deep economic inequality between first and second wives and show that a large proportion of women—especially first wives—lack consistent financial support, underscoring systemic neglect and dependence within polygamous marital arrangements.

Maintenance of Children  

Among the 1,419 first wives surveyed, nearly half (45%) reported that their husbands did not provide maintenance for their children after the second marriage. This data indicates that a substantial number of men discontinue financial responsibility toward children from their first marriage once they remarry. The lack of maintenance not only deepens the economic insecurity of the first wife but also affects the well-being and stability of the children, highlighting a critical gap in accountability and social support mechanisms for first families in polygamous contexts.

When wives do not receive maintenance from the husband for themselves or their children, the impact is often deep, long-lasting, and affects nearly every aspect of life. The consequences are not only economic, but also emotional, social, physical, and psychological.

A woman’s economic insecurity increases. She begins to struggle for basic needs like food, rent, medicines, school expenses, bills etc. Since husbands also stop living with their first wife [54%], she is forced to take up immediate work, borrow from family or sell or mortgage jewellery. The children shift to a cheaper school or drop out and join the work force at a tender age. The girls could be married off early and boys join the labour force. There could be a sudden drop in the economic status. It is worthwhile to remember that respondents in this study, when they got married, were economically, educationally and age wise already very vulnerable. Added to this vulnerability is this economic abandonment by the husband.  Women who were financially dependent on the husband may suddenly face extreme poverty.

Constant financial stress leads to anxiety, helplessness, vulnerability and extreme fear about the current and future situations. There is loss of dignity having to ask for money and facing probable humiliation and loss of face.

To tide over the financial crisis, women land up skipping meals, delay their medical treatment and focus on feeding the children and thus get reduced to a survival mode. She suddenly becomes the only source of sustenance for herself and the children. Every responsibility suddenly falls on her and she is not even prepared for it. Searching for work for which she is suited and skilled can be cumbersome along with taking care of self, family and especially children. Working suddenly may take her time away from social and family events. She may be forced to continue in an abusive marriage because she has no option. Whatever little she might get from her husband is all that she gets. She may also not be in a position to file police complaint or file a case in the court. This would require long term financial inputs which she being in a survival mode cannot afford. Lack of money is not just impacting her current financial status but creates intergenerational poverty from which generations might suffer.

It is truly sad how two families suffer generationally. 29% (312 women) said their husband abandoned them and went back to the first wife. Nearly one in three second wives report being abandoned by their husband, who returned to his first marriage. This indicates that second marriages often lack long-term stability and security for women. While most second wives (71%) continue in the relationship, a significant 29% experience abandonment—leaving them vulnerable both emotionally and economically, especially since many lack legal protection or consistent maintenance. The convenience is only of the husband here. Wherever and whenever he finds it convenient, he moves to that family. He has all the choices.

 

 

WHO SUPPORTS THE HUSBAND FOR POLYGAMY

 

WHO SUPPORTS THE HUSBAND FOR POLYGAMY

Article 7 based on the data published by BMMA in ‘Breaking the Silence’ https://notionpress.com/in/read/breaking-the-silence-1410178808-1410178808 

Marriage is not an individual affair in India. It is a family project where the family probably lands up playing a more important role than the couple itself. In the study we tried to understand the perspective of both, the first and second wife, as to the locus of the support that the husband received.

From the first wife’s perspective, the largest share (36.2%) of women said that their husbands received no support from anyone for the second marriage. This indicates that a significant number of men acted independently, driven by personal motives or desires rather than family or social influence.

However, nearly two-thirds (63.8%) of husbands did receive support, suggesting that social and familial endorsement plays a major role in sustaining polygamy.

Among supporters, the mother’s role is most prominent (22.8%) — showing that maternal influence and possible cultural acceptance within families contribute significantly. Friends (16.3%) also emerge as a major encouraging group — possibly normalizing or even facilitating the second marriage. Fathers and siblings (12.9% each) together form another quarter of supporters, indicating that immediate family often condones or assists in remarriage decisions. Others (25.7%) — may include community members, religious figures, or extended relatives — pointing to broader social reinforcement.

Interestingly, only 2% of first wives said they themselves supported their husband’s second marriage, a very small fraction, possibly driven by social pressure, guilt, or religious obligation.

The data shows that while a segment of men chose polygamy without explicit external support, the majority operated within enabling social structures. Mothers and friends are central figures in this support network, reflecting internalized patriarchal attitudes that justify or even encourage men’s remarriage. The fact that over one-third faced no opposition underscores a lack of accountability and social permissiveness toward men’s decisions to remarry. Overall, the findings suggest that polygamy is not merely an individual choice but often a collectively upheld practice, reinforced by family and community complicity.

From the second wife’s perspective, mothers again emerge as the strongest supporters of their son’s remarriage [44%]. In this case father is not to be left behind. 40% fathers support polygamy of his son. both parents have a strong role to play. Though lesser than in the case of first wife’s perspective, 26% of the husbands acted out of their own volition without any support from anyone. Peer influence has a larger role to play [23%] from the second wife’s perspective. Friends, close cousins play a significant role in encouraging the second marriage. Relatives, community leaders, extended family also approve or atleast do not show disapproval. Polygamy is legitimized and normalized and hence becomes an easy option for men.

The data indicates that second marriages are rarely isolated choices; instead, they are socially endorsed acts, heavily influenced by family elders and peer groups.
This suggests that cultural and familial acceptance of polygamy continues to sustain the practice, even when it may lead to emotional distress for the first wife and complex family dynamics.

It is disheartening to see mother’s playing a significant role in encouraging polygamy. We see mothers of sons and daughters pushing their son or daughter into a second alliance. How deep rooted is patriarchy that polygamy is normalized and internalized by women to such a significant extent.

From a psychological perspective, our beliefs, thoughts, ideologies are already formed by the time we are 10 years of age. They become part of our sub conscious and impact our entire life unless we consciously challenge them. We are driven by our beliefs. They are our default mechanism that determine our daily transactions. They are deeply entrenched and feel very normal and natural. Women through generations have been socialised into believing that men are superior and always in authority. Right from infancy, women see their father, grand father, uncles, brothers wielding unchecked authority. Women take that as normal. A man’s existence, his needs, his authority are to be taken as natural and given. What men do is right is a deeply entrenched belief carried by women through generations. She sees her insubordinate status as a given, natural, to be simply accepted. Her existence, status, support are all tied to her son. She supporting him is equal to she supporting herself. The son-preference in our society has deep roots. It is a bond that goes beyond healthy. It can erase your identity as a woman, as a human being too when you support bride burning for dowry, for instance. She gains her power through her son and whatever works for her son works for her.

All violence against women have been normalized through patriarchal socialization. It works in favour of men but through the agency of women. Women also in the process normalize their own suffering. It is how it has been or how it should be – is the mantra. Compromise, sacrifice, adjust are the instructions she receives as a child. She is secondary, invisible, unimportant and hence what happens to her is also not something that should warrant anyone’s attention.

Women are probably more sensitive to religious cultural conditioning. They are also entrusted with this job and hence feel it is their responsibility to uphold traditions or atleast not challenge them. The conditioning reduces the capacity to question or challenge discriminatory practices. They have been deemed right by religion and if you question that then you are not a good Muslim. That is too much of a burden to carry. It carries social exclusion and even extermination from the community.

So woman supporting polygamy either as a mother or the first or the second wife is an indication of deep, layered and invisible patriarchy. Here women lends up protecting and promoting the very systems that that discriminate against her. She is then no longer a woman but a torch bearer of patriarchy. That is the triumph of patriarchy.

 

POLYGAMY AND TOXIC MASCULINITY

 

POLYGAMY AND TOXIC MASCULINITY

Article 3 based on the data published by BMMA in ‘Breaking the Silence’ https://notionpress.com/in/read/breaking-the-silence-1410178808-1410178808 

This study throws up some interesting data about men, though not very surprising. We wanted to know a bit more about the man who enter into polygamous marriage. We could get the data about the men through the wives whom we interviewed. It would have been interesting to talk to men but that is the limitation of this study that we could not speak to them directly. So all information about the men are through the wives.

Age

A small percentage (9%) were married before the age of 21. But a majority of husbands (59%) were 21–30 years old, a typical age range for first marriages. Only a small proportion were very young, which is less than 21 years or older than 40. Most husbands (74%) were 21–30 years old, reflecting typical age alignment in first marriages. Very few husbands were older than 40 (1%), indicating first marriages mostly involve younger men.

A larger proportion of husbands were older (31–40 years: 46%; above 41: 10%) in second marriages. Only 3% were below 21 years, and 40% were 21–30 years. This suggests second marriages often involve older husbands, possibly due to remarriage after divorce or widowhood.

First marriages involve younger husbands (21–30 years) predominantly. Second marriages involve older husbands (31–40 and above), reflecting age differences and remarriage patterns. This may indicate greater age disparity in second marriages, which could have social and economic implications.

Education

A majority of husbands (60%) have education only up to 10th standard or below. This includes 21% with no schooling and 16% below Std 7th, suggesting widespread limited formal education among men in polygamous marriages.

Around 19% completed Std 10–12, showing some presence of secondary education but not enough to mark higher educational achievement.

Only 16% of men attained undergraduate or higher degrees, indicating that polygamy cuts across lower-education groups predominantly.

The first wives’ husbands are slightly more represented in the “Std 7th–10th” category (25%) compared to second wives’ husbands (21%), implying that first marriages may occur earlier or with slightly better-educated men. The education gap between first and second wives’ husbands is minimal, showing similar socio-educational backgrounds across both marriages.

About 2–3% of women did not know their husband’s education — possibly due to communication gaps or secrecy in marital contexts, especially among second wives.

The data suggests a correlation between low male education levels and polygamous practices. Lower education often links to traditional gender norms, economic instability, and social acceptance of multiple marriages.

Income

A majority of husbands (around 66%) had an income below ₹20,000 per month at the time of marriage. This reflects that polygamous marriages are most prevalent among lower-income groups.

6% (133 men) had income below 1,000 or no income at all — indicating marriages occurring even when men were financially unstable or dependent. Such marriages may rely on family support or informal work, suggesting economic vulnerability at the household level.

Around 34% of the husbands fell in this range 10,000–20,000 showing a slight upward mobility, but still within the lower-middle-class segment. These income levels likely correlate with daily wage, small business, or service sector jobs.

Only 17% of husbands earned ₹20,000 or above, highlighting limited participation of affluent men in polygamous marriages. However, among second wives, a slightly higher proportion (23%) belonged to the ₹20,000+ bracket, suggesting that some better-earning men contract second marriages.

First wives were generally married to men with lower income ranges (5,000–15,000). Second wives show a slightly higher income distribution, particularly in the 20,000–40,000 and above 40,000 categories. This might imply that men remarry after financial improvement or use higher income to justify/afford a second marriage. 17% of women did not know their husband’s income, showing lack of financial transparency, especially in patriarchal setups or marriages with unequal communication and power dynamics.

BMMA’s study has been with women from poor segment of the Muslim society. As we saw in the above data, men in polygamous marriages are also often young, low-income and less educated. What possibly could be the reasons for men to still enter another marriage which in some way also increases their stress and responsibility.

Men who marry young often do not have a choose their partner. His partner is decided by the family. In the Muslim community, in some groups, first-cousin marriages are common. Caste, sect, class considerations also matter. The parents think it is their sole right to decide the marriage partner for their son. As we saw earlier, 59% married between 21-30. In our experience in the communities, we find that a large majority are married before 25 years of age. This age does not warrant financial independence. We saw earlier that 66% earned below 20,000 at the time of their marriage. With lack of emotional maturity, lack of financial resources and not much of education to back up [60% upto 10^th class or below] and neither employable skills, early marriage for men also does no good. Men this young mostly join their father’s business or join family business as runners or side supporter. They learn the tricks of the trade while the family supports him and his wife. This also increases their dependence on the dowry that the wife brings in. Most often the expenses of the wedding are also borne by the girls’ family. Since mostly the choices are imposed by the parents, when the time comes for the husband to take a partner of his choice, he does not hesitate. Since the first one is not of his choice, he also tends to neglect his responsibility towards her. This reflects also a limited exposure to gendered understanding, lack of honest and open communication with parents, lack of exposure to the world outside and hence other possibilities.

Boys in the Muslim communities, as in all other communities, grow up to feel entitled to the privileges that come with being a male species. There is a defiance of sorts where he believes he can do what he wants. Understanding of marriage as a partnership of two people, of love and care, of understanding and adjustments is absent. Instead, is a toxic masculinity that only understands controlling women. She must obey him, look after his parents, obey them as well and generally behave like a glorified servant. Close to 40% men have justified second marriage simply by reiterating the sanction by religion, without knowing the context in which it was sanctioned and with total disregard to the ethical framework of Islam which requires women-men relationships to be governed by love, care, peace and kindness. It is like saying, ‘since I can do it, let me do it’. Not having a law prohibiting second marriage is like an added incentive. It is the inability to see the woman as a human being, as someone who thinks and feels and has an opinion. The understanding that women are sub human and are only meant to follow orders like a robot just makes it easier and guilt free.

Seen from the data that men give more mehr to the second wife, it does not deter them to have a second wife. He also gets less dowry. But still prefers to go ahead with an added responsibility. That is also because the first wife responsibility is washed off his hands. Again data shows first wife starts to depend on her parents for survival. So, it is not that his responsibility is increasing. In fact, he ensures that his one responsibility goes away so that he takes the second one.

Marriage registration is a weak area in our country. There is no accountability. Marriage then becomes a private affair. There is no need to disclose, make it formal and legal. There is also no shame attached to second marriage. In fact, it is like a badge of honour.

There is a need to reach out to men with the objective of inculcating in them a gendered perspective. Can we begin a process where they are able to reject the toxicity attached to being a man? Can we do something to make them more human, more sensitive, more vulnerable? Can we make them see women as human beings, as a thinking and feeling person and not a robot? A big demand but the time has come. Polygamy is not just a religious issue, it is about patriarchy, it is about women’s rights, it is about being human, it is about education and awareness and assertion of a woman’s legal and constitutional rights.

 

COMMUNITY IN A RUSH TO MARRY OFF DAUGHTERS

 

Community In A Rush To Marry Off Daughters

Article 1 

Based on the data published by BMMA in ‘Breaking the Silence’ https://notionpress.com/in/read/breaking-the-silence-1410178808-1410178808  

BMMA spoke to 2500 Muslim women who have been survivors of polygamy. Other than revealing the opinion and experience of Muslim women on their marital status, the study also threw up information about other aspects. In this article we discuss the age, education and income of Muslim women.

Age of Marriage

This study captured the views of Muslim women who at the time of study were mainly in the age group of 30-50. We checked with them the age at which they got married. Out of the first wives, 24% were married before the age of 18 and 11% of the second wives were married before the age of 18. If we combine both figures then 36% of the total respondents were married before the age of 18. To put it in plain words, 36% of women were child brides.

If we compare the numbers of the first and second wife, we can see that the first wife has the disadvantage. She gets married earlier than the second wife. First marriages are more prone to early marriage. When parents chose a wife for their son, they choose someone who is below 18 or someone who has just cleared that age. But when the same man chooses a second wife for himself, she is not a child but mostly an adult. While 25% of first wives were a minor when they got married, less than half, 11% of the second wife were minors. Second marriage of the husband usually happens with a woman who is an adult. We see here that the first wife suffers and is a victim of child marriage more than the second wife of the same husband. Child marriage is more common among first wives than second wives.

36% while still is a big number reflecting early marriage, it is also heartening to see increasing number of adult marriages. Here too we see that the second wife tends to marry in adulthood more than the first wife. In both the groups, i.e. the first and second wife, a majority of them marry as adults which is 18-30 years. This is positive as it is showing some alignment of the community with the legal and social norms. It also aligns with our own experience while working in the community that we see an increasing number of young women studying beyond class 12. If we compare these figures with our previous study ‘Seeking Justice Within Family Law, released in 2015, almost a decade earlier, we see that than the rate of child marriage was almost 55%.  https://notionpress.com/in/read/seeking-justice-within-family

BMMA has been proposing the comprehensive codification of Muslim family law so that there is an increasing alignment with legal provisions. The Prohibition of Child Marriages Act, 2006 is applicable to all citizens of India but there is confusion and a misunderstanding that it is not applicable to the Muslim community. No citizen of the country is prohibited from accessing any law of the country but given the hold of the clerics within the Muslim community and misinformed police which believes that certain laws are not applicable to the Muslim community, most from the community are not aware of the law and many wrongly believe that it does not apply to them. Hence it is important that a specific mention be made in the codified Muslim family law that in case of child marriage, the PCMA can be evoked.

Education

A large majority (66%) of women had education levels up to 10th standard or below at the time of marriage. 20% completed Std 11th–12th, indicating a moderate segment who had exposure to higher secondary education but did not progress to college. Only 12% of women reached undergraduate or higher levels (graduate, postgraduate, diploma, vocational). A significant number, 21% have not gone to school at all and vocational and skill-based education is even more miniscule with only 1%, pointing to very limited avenues for employment or self-reliance.

If we compare the numbers of the first and second wives then we see that the second wives tend to be marginally better educated at the time of marriage, possibly reflecting changing educational opportunities over time or men choosing somewhat more educated partners for later marriages.

The data underscores that education for women remains a neglected area, especially in communities where polygamy is practiced. Early marriage, poverty, and patriarchal norms likely contribute to low female educational attainment. The low education level of women, coupled with early marriage, can perpetuate economic dependency and social vulnerability. Women with lesser education are often less aware of their legal and marital rights, making them more susceptible to marital instability and acceptance of polygamy.

If we combine 66% women who are either 10^th class or below and 21% who have not gone to school at all, then a whopping 87% enter marriage without any significant educational empowerment.

Income At The Time Of Marriage

79% of women had no income at the time of marriage, highlighting economic dependence from the outset of marriage. Only small fractions (less than 15%) had any substantial earnings before marriage. Even higher proportion (84%) of first wives had no income at marriage. Very few had moderate or high income, indicating economic dependence starts early, especially for first wives. 73% of second wives had no income, slightly lower than first wives. Higher proportions are seen in 1000–10,000 range (16%), suggesting second wives may have had slightly more earning opportunities before marriage.

Now let us combine all the figures above. 36% are child brides and 21% have not gone to school and 79% have no income at the time of marriage. And that leads to the title of this article, what is the rush? Why are Muslim parents in a great hurry to marry their daughters so weak and disempowered? Does the conventional, time tested explanation for early marriage still stays or more reasons can now be added? Does it have anything to do with being a Muslim or the issue is community-neutral?

A disempowered girl/woman, underage, illiterate, poor is then burdened with polygamy. While she is still coping with marriage at such a young age, she faces an emotional bolt in the form of her husband’s second marriage. While data clearly shows that the first wife tends to suffer more, it is needless to say that both are equally vulnerable and disempowered.  What is the family gaining by this inhumanity? Our youth are so vulnerable, weak and disempowered and then we burden them with marriage and accompanied responsibility. What is wrong with us? What will push us out of this slumber?