IMPACT OF POLYGAMY ON RELATIONSHIP
Article 8
based on the data published by BMMA in ‘Breaking the Silence’ https://notionpress.com/in/read/breaking-the-silence-1410178808-1410178808
We looked at the impact which the first wives felt on their
relationship. 54% of the husbands stopped living with their wives. This
indicates severe marital breakdown where more than half of husbands are
physically and emotionally absent in the relationship after the second
marriage. They are just not there. When a person is not around physically what
can a woman do? She is then forced to manage her life and the lives of the
children. She just does not have any choice.
28% spend less time with their first wife. It reflects partial
breakdown, emotional neglect and reduced companionship. A couple in a marital
relationship are suppose to be there for each other. There is no room for one
more relationship. And if that happens the neglect begins. The time is divided
and so is the attention. There is one more person who has an equal right over
the husband’s time. The first wife did not bargain for this. Reduction in time
spent also conveys that she is not important to him anymore.
25% reported increased fights between them. It suggests heightened
conflict, insecurity and emotional strain. With husband not staying with the
first wife or spending less time with her also indicates more friction and
conflict. The increased fights impact her mental and physical health. It also
must be impacting the husband’s mental and physical health but then it is of
his own doing. Obviously, children are not spared. 20% of the husband neglected
the children. It points to broader family impact, the husband’s divided
attention affected parenting and children’s well-being. A child’s trajectory in
life is highly influenced by its parent’s life. And the damage can be long
lasting.
Wives Economic Dependency
First wives tend to
face greater financial vulnerability after their husband’s second marriage. A
large proportion, 40%, rely on
their parents, and only 19% continue to receive maintenance
from their husbands. About 34% were
compelled to start working,
indicating a shift toward economic self-reliance driven by necessity rather
than choice. A small fraction (11%) depends
on community aid from jamaat or masjid,
underscoring a lack of formal support systems.
Second wives, on the
other hand, are generally more financially supported
by their husbands, 63.3%
receive maintenance from them. Around 34.1% are
employed, showing a similar participation in work as first wives but likely
with more stability. Only 3.9% report
having no source of maintenance, much lower than first wives.
Overall, the figures reveal that first wives experience a significant economic setback
after polygamy, often becoming dependent or entering the workforce out of
compulsion, while second wives tend to receive
more consistent financial support from their husbands. This
pattern points to an unequal distribution of resources and responsibilities
between the two marriages.
Monthly Maintenance by the Husband
The data shows that financial neglect is widespread among both
first and second wives, but the burden falls more heavily on first wives. 40% of women (1,011 total) receive no maintenance at all, with first wives
forming the majority (793). 23% say their husbands buy household items instead of giving cash
— a form of control that limits women’s financial autonomy.
Only 32% receive regular cash maintenance, and within this
group, most receive very small amounts:
5% below ₹2,000/month, 4% between ₹2,000–₹4,000 and only 6% receive more than ₹10,000/month. Second
wives are more likely to receive moderate to higher levels of
maintenance, while first wives dominate the “no maintenance” category.
The findings reflect deep economic inequality between first and
second wives and show that a large proportion of
women—especially first wives—lack consistent financial support,
underscoring systemic neglect and dependence within polygamous marital
arrangements.
Maintenance of Children
Among the 1,419 first wives surveyed,
nearly half (45%) reported that their husbands did not provide maintenance for their children
after the second marriage. This data indicates that a substantial number of men
discontinue financial responsibility toward children from
their first marriage once they remarry. The lack of maintenance
not only deepens the economic insecurity
of the first wife but also affects the well-being and stability of
the children, highlighting a critical gap in accountability and
social support mechanisms for first families in polygamous contexts.
When wives do not receive maintenance from the
husband for themselves or their children, the impact is often deep,
long-lasting, and affects nearly every aspect of life. The consequences are not
only economic, but also emotional, social, physical, and psychological.
A woman’s economic insecurity increases. She begins
to struggle for basic needs like food, rent, medicines, school expenses, bills
etc. Since husbands also stop living with their first wife [54%], she is forced
to take up immediate work, borrow from family or sell or mortgage jewellery.
The children shift to a cheaper school or drop out and join the work force at a
tender age. The girls could be married off early and boys join the labour
force. There could be a sudden drop in the economic status. It is worthwhile to
remember that respondents in this study, when they got married, were
economically, educationally and age wise already very vulnerable. Added to this
vulnerability is this economic abandonment by the husband. Women who were financially dependent on the
husband may suddenly face extreme poverty.
Constant financial stress leads to anxiety,
helplessness, vulnerability and extreme fear about the current and future
situations. There is loss of dignity having to ask for money and facing
probable humiliation and loss of face.
To tide over the financial crisis, women land up
skipping meals, delay their medical treatment and focus on feeding the children
and thus get reduced to a survival mode. She suddenly becomes the only source
of sustenance for herself and the children. Every responsibility suddenly falls
on her and she is not even prepared for it. Searching for work for which she is
suited and skilled can be cumbersome along with taking care of self, family and
especially children. Working suddenly may take her time away from social and
family events. She may be forced to continue in an abusive marriage because she
has no option. Whatever little she might get from her husband is all that she
gets. She may also not be in a position to file police complaint or file a case
in the court. This would require long term financial inputs which she being in
a survival mode cannot afford. Lack of money is not just impacting her current
financial status but creates intergenerational poverty from which generations
might suffer.
It is truly sad how two families suffer
generationally. 29% (312 women) said their husband abandoned them
and went back to the first wife. Nearly one in three second wives report being
abandoned by their husband, who returned to his first marriage. This indicates
that second marriages often lack long-term stability and security for women.
While most second wives (71%) continue in the relationship, a significant 29%
experience abandonment—leaving them vulnerable both emotionally and
economically, especially since many lack legal protection or consistent
maintenance. The convenience is only of the husband here. Wherever and whenever
he finds it convenient, he moves to that family. He has all the choices.
