IMPACT ON THE PHYSICAL HEALTH OF WOMEN IN POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGE

 

IMPACT ON THE PHYSICAL HEALTH OF WOMEN IN POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGE 

Article 9 based on the data published by BMMA in ‘Breaking the Silence’ https://notionpress.com/in/read/breaking-the-silence-1410178808-1410178808 

Let’s look at the impact on the physical health of the first wife. She starts to suffer from blood pressure [40%], loss of sleep [45%], migraine [34%], body pain [27%] and joint pains [21%], menstrual issues [15%]. Although for more clarity there is a separate article to assess mental health impact, just the physical impact is overwhelming. Most of these ailments require regular medication and doctor visits. The ailments do not give her enough bandwidth to take up and job and earn, to look after small children and manage all the stress. All the above ailments are debilitating, giving very limited physical strength to go on with life. We all know what happens to us when we have not slept well or when migraine hits us or when there is a nagging, chronic body ache. All this because a man thinks it is his right to marry more than one woman.

The data reveals a significant disparity in physical health outcomes between first and second wives, indicating that the emotional and social consequences of polygamy translate into tangible health impacts, especially for the first wife.

• First wives are consistently more affected across every health indicator, suggesting that emotional distress, insecurity, and neglect following the husband’s second marriage have direct physiological consequences.
• The high rates of hypertension (35.9%) and sleep loss (45.3%) strongly imply psychosomatic stress linked to marital strain.
• In contrast, second wives report comparatively better health, likely due to greater attention, emotional validation, and social status during the early years of their marriage.
• The gap in reported “no health issues” (20% vs 51%) highlights a stark contrast in overall well-being.

Polygamous marriage exerts a disproportionate toll on the physical health of first wives, reflecting how emotional deprivation and competition translate into chronic illness. The findings indicate that polygamy not only destabilizes marital harmony but also undermines women’s physical well-being, creating a cycle of stress, illness, and medical dependency. The gap is compelling. 12 % of first wife compared to 5% of second wife have diabetes. Almost 15% of first wife compared to 8% of second wife have menstrual issues. 27% of first wife compared to 9% of second have body aches and pains. The numbers clearly indicate that the first wife suffers more.

When we checked with the action that women take to look after themselves. A large portion of women [32%]. Almost equally high (31.9%) visited government or charitable health centres, showing reliance on affordable care. 17.8% could not afford treatment, highlighting economic barriers. 16.8% used home remedies, and 14.9% engaged in physical activity to manage stress, indicating informal/self-care methods are common. Only 2.1% reported doing regular exercise, suggesting low preventive health behavior. 10% did not face any health issues, possibly due to youth, lifestyle, or underreporting. Overall, the data suggests that economic factors, access to care, and self-managed solutions play a major role in how individuals deal with health, while preventive behaviors like exercise remain minimal.

The shock and humiliation of the second marriage has an immediate physical impact. The body goes into a shock followed by the pain of being betrayed. Anger is predominant, fear is inevitable and a long term experience of these emotions can have long standing damage on the body. Constant headaches, sleep disturbances, fatigue, body aches, joint pains then feed into more stress and the loop continues. The body keeps accumulating the pain which keeps getting added as more stress and crisis unfold. Many years of single handedly shouldering the responsibilities of raising children, managing home and finances takes it’s toll on the body with entrenched long term chronic illnesses.

If the second marriage has happened after a long gap then the second wife is also much younger and hence less ailments. She is also not yet burdened with marriage conflicts, child birth and other related stressors. First wife being already older may have already been experiencing various ailments.

Physical ailments begin with the mind anyway. Because she suffers emotionally, her body stores all the mental aches and pains. Feeling replaced, unimportant and dispensable affects her self-worth and dignity and that has a huge impact on her body.

It is not to say that the second wives do not suffer at all. The numbers do show that she too suffers. But a large part of the impact is definitely on the first wife.

 

WHAT DO MUSLIM WOMEN WANT VIS-À-VIS POLYGAMY

 

WHAT DO MUSLIM WOMEN WANT VIS-À-VIS POLYGAMY

Dr. Noorjehan Safia Niaz

 

In the report published by BMMA, ‘Status of Women in Polygamous Marriage and the Need for Legal Protection’, Muslim women have in their own words given a piece of advice to Muslim men, to religious groups and to the larger community. One of the respondents in the study says, a woman gives her whole life to her husband but husband does not respect her. A woman lives with this fear all the time that her husband may leave her and that she has no control over him. Men give the example of the Prophet and they think they know everything about Islam. But their behavior betrays their ignorance about their own religion. Change is part of the society then why is change not possible for women? Why is she still subjected to archaic traditions and laws which harm not just a woman but entire families and consequently the community and nation.

 

If men are not able to take care of a woman then why do they need so many wives? This is the refrain of most of the women. Women don’t land up marrying as soon as her husband leaves her. Does she not have her needs or is it that only men have needs and they need to be fulfilled at the first go. Men only misuse polygamy and cheat women. There is no need for polygamy in today’s situation. A husband is not able to take responsibility of one wife and children. Then where is the need for another wife and take on a burden which they cannot handle. How can one neglect ones wife and children who are loving you and are dependent on you? How can she be forced to share her life with some one? A lot of duties are assigned to men in Islam. But they are not ready to fulfil it. They use polygamy and ignore and harass the children. This is the worst of practice. It is against Islam. Men should marry once and not destroy women’s life. They should have one wife and take care of the family properly. They are asking Muslim men to read the Quran and try to understand what it is trying to say about polygamy.

 

Mei musalmano mardo se kehna chati hoo ki kisiki majbori ka fayda mat utho apne paiso ke bal per. Un garib logo ke bacho ko padhao aur insaan banao. ‘I would like to tell Muslim men that they should not take advantage of someone’s helplessness just because they have money. Educate the children of the poor and help them turn into decent humans’.

 

Women ask Muslim men to not cheat their wives. One woman whose husband wanted an educated wife and she was not, says, if he wanted an educated wife then he should have married an educated wife. Why cheat her? To sum up, the relationship between men and women appears at an all-time low when one victim says, ‘Never to trust men. They can change anytime!’

 

In Tamil Nadu the women shared that the Jamaats, group of men who believe they know religion better than others, also justify polygamy. They say both women can stay together and while saying this they completely ignore the personal feelings of both women. They support polygamy and destroy the peace of the family. Such Jamaats must put some conditions on men. They must verify all claims and have all relevant documents of the men with them. Muslim women cannot go to the court or police station always. She requests Jamaat leaders to lead the society as per Quran and ensure justice. In istema, waz, kutba [religious congregations and announcements] the religious leaders must give right advice regarding marriage and divorce. They should not give space for men to desert their wife and children.

 

Main kahna chahti hoon ki mere shauhar ko sazaa milni chahiye.’ ‘I want to say that my husband should be punished.’ Overwhelmingly the women want the state to intervene. It is the state’s responsibility to reform the law as per the Quranic rights of women and to stop violence against them. If the leaders do not listen to women, where is the space for women to voice her concerns? The police also tell the woman to go to the Jamaat for any marital dispute but the Jamaat does not listen to the woman.

 

Muslim women say, ‘polygamy should be banned so that lives of women like me and the lives of our children are not spoiled.’ They want the government to put a stop to this practice. There should be a law for monogamy. If he remarries then he should be punished because a woman’s entire life is in trouble. There must be strict laws regarding second marriage. Each woman must get her rights and it is the responsibility of the government.

 

One woman says, ‘What happened with me was wrong. There should be restriction on it. Otherwise women will loose trust over the institution of marriage. Polygamy must be abolished. Not just the husband but whoever is making him do this marriage, must also be punished’. The government must monitor the system and reform laws to save women and children suffering from polygamy.

 

To the larger Muslim community, the respondents of the Study say, women should be given space to express her feelings and her concerns about her future life. Nobody really cares for her. She needs to be given confidence by the society, by the community. She needs to be empowered. If the husband wants to remarry then he must compensate the woman. Where will she go? We are so far away from the court and the government. We need to change ourselves.

Muslim community needs to understand a woman’s soul. Only when they feel her problem, then only the community, government and everyone will come forward to change.

 

Is the community ready to listen to our voice? All suggestions are for women but nobody says anything to the men. This attitude of the community is the problem. We need law but who respects that? What men do becomes a law. Our community elders need to think this, we need strict rules – but are they ready to change?

 

Women in Tamil Nadu say that the larger community must intervene and tell the Jamaat to work in the favour of victims. Muslim community must follow the Quran and legal rights of women to avoid this situation of first wife and children in the name of polygamy. The community must share information about Quranic rights with women and take steps to reform the law in favour of women. They must not harass the women in the name of polygamy.

‘I request the government and the community that each girl should get her rights.’

 See the full report:

https://notionpress.com/read/status-of-women-in-polygamous-marriages-and-need-for-legal-protection