WHAT DO
MUSLIM WOMEN WANT VIS-À-VIS POLYGAMY
Dr.
Noorjehan Safia Niaz
In the report published by BMMA,
‘Status of Women in Polygamous Marriage and the Need for Legal Protection’,
Muslim women have in their own words given a piece of advice to Muslim men, to
religious groups and to the larger community. One of the respondents in the
study says, a woman gives her whole life to her husband but husband does not
respect her. A woman lives with this fear all the time that her husband may
leave her and that she has no control over him. Men give the example of the
Prophet and they think they know everything about Islam. But their behavior
betrays their ignorance about their own religion. Change is part of the society
then why is change not possible for women? Why is she still subjected to
archaic traditions and laws which harm not just a woman but entire families and
consequently the community and nation.
If men are not able to take care
of a woman then why do they need so many wives? This is the refrain of most of
the women. Women don’t land up marrying as soon as her husband leaves her. Does
she not have her needs or is it that only men have needs and they need to be
fulfilled at the first go. Men only misuse polygamy and cheat women. There is
no need for polygamy in today’s situation. A husband is not able to take
responsibility of one wife and children. Then where is the need for another
wife and take on a burden which they cannot handle. How can one neglect ones
wife and children who are loving you and are dependent on you? How can she be
forced to share her life with some one? A lot of duties are assigned to men in
Islam. But they are not ready to fulfil it. They use polygamy and ignore and
harass the children. This is the worst of practice. It is against Islam. Men
should marry once and not destroy women’s life. They should have one wife and
take care of the family properly. They are asking Muslim men to read the Quran
and try to understand what it is trying to say about polygamy.
Mei musalmano mardo se
kehna chati hoo ki kisiki majbori ka fayda mat utho apne paiso ke bal
per. Un garib logo ke bacho ko padhao aur insaan banao. ‘I would like to
tell Muslim men that they should not take advantage of someone’s helplessness
just because they have money. Educate the children of the poor and help them
turn into decent humans’.
Women ask Muslim men to not cheat
their wives. One woman whose husband wanted an educated wife and she was not,
says, if he wanted an educated wife then he should have married an educated
wife. Why cheat her? To sum up, the relationship between men and women appears
at an all-time low when one victim says, ‘Never to trust men. They can change
anytime!’
In Tamil Nadu the women shared
that the Jamaats, group of men who believe they know religion better than
others, also justify polygamy. They say both women can stay together and while
saying this they completely ignore the personal feelings of both women. They
support polygamy and destroy the peace of the family. Such Jamaats must put
some conditions on men. They must verify all claims and have all relevant
documents of the men with them. Muslim women cannot go to the court or police
station always. She requests Jamaat leaders to lead the society as per Quran
and ensure justice. In istema, waz, kutba [religious congregations and
announcements] the religious leaders must give right advice regarding marriage
and divorce. They should not give space for men to desert their wife and
children.
Main kahna chahti hoon ki mere
shauhar ko sazaa milni chahiye.’ ‘I want to say that my husband should be
punished.’ Overwhelmingly the women want the state to intervene. It is the
state’s responsibility to reform the law as per the Quranic rights of women and
to stop violence against them. If the leaders do not listen to women, where is
the space for women to voice her concerns? The police also tell the woman to go
to the Jamaat for any marital dispute but the Jamaat does not listen to the
woman.
Muslim women say, ‘polygamy
should be banned so that lives of women like me and the lives of our children
are not spoiled.’ They want the government to put a stop to this practice.
There should be a law for monogamy. If he remarries then he should be punished
because a woman’s entire life is in trouble. There must be strict laws
regarding second marriage. Each woman must get her rights and it is the
responsibility of the government.
One woman says, ‘What happened
with me was wrong. There should be restriction on it. Otherwise women will loose
trust over the institution of marriage. Polygamy must be abolished. Not just
the husband but whoever is making him do this marriage, must also be punished’.
The government must monitor the system and reform laws to save women and
children suffering from polygamy.
To the larger Muslim community,
the respondents of the Study say, women should be given space to express her
feelings and her concerns about her future life. Nobody really cares for her.
She needs to be given confidence by the society, by the community. She needs to
be empowered. If the husband wants to remarry then he must compensate the
woman. Where will she go? We are so far away from the court and the government.
We need to change ourselves.
Muslim community needs to
understand a woman’s soul. Only when they feel her problem, then only the
community, government and everyone will come forward to change.
Is the community ready to listen
to our voice? All suggestions are for women but nobody says anything to the
men. This attitude of the community is the problem. We need law but who
respects that? What men do becomes a law. Our community elders need to think
this, we need strict rules – but are they ready to change?
Women in Tamil Nadu say that the larger community must intervene and tell the Jamaat to work in the favour of victims. Muslim community must follow the Quran and legal rights of women to avoid this situation of first wife and children in the name of polygamy. The community must share information about Quranic rights with women and take steps to reform the law in favour of women. They must not harass the women in the name of polygamy.
‘I request the government and the
community that each girl should get her rights.’
https://notionpress.com/read/status-of-women-in-polygamous-marriages-and-need-for-legal-protection
No comments:
Post a Comment