‘I DIVORCE THEE FOR YOUR THIN
WAISTLINE !’
Reasons and Methods
of Divorce used by Muslim men
Author – Dr. Noorjehan Safia Niaz
It
is sad but true that Muslim men have divorced their wives for the most
flimsiest of reasons. It not only reflects on their deeply patriarchal mindset
but also is an indication that the Muslim society and the legal system within
and outside the community have allowed Muslim men to play with the lives of
Muslim women.
There
is no sense of accountability or fear of law because there is no law in the
first place and the system which is supposed to seek accountability is in
cohorts with the patriarchal Muslim men. Clergy is completely men-sided because
the qazis and muftis themselves endorse the reasons which range from ‘ I do not
like the food that is being cooked’ to ‘ my wife has a thin waistline’, to ‘my
wife has white patches on her legs’ to ‘ she wears spectacles’ to ‘ she is
suffering from TB’. One woman was divorced because she was somehow responsible
for her husband’s sister eloping with a man. Another was divorced because she
went to a funeral in her mother’s house without informing her husband and yet
another was divorced because she did not get a good dowry and came to the legal
aid centre for reconciliation. What gives the man the authority to do as he
pleases? The audacity arises simply because the social and the legal system do
not question him. In fact it endorses his action and takes cues from him to perpetrate
and worsen the situation.
One
wonders why ordinary Muslim men do not revolt against these practices. One obvious
reason is that it benefits them not to question the inhumanness that has crept
into intimate relations. The second reason is the lack of any legal deterrent. Because
the Muslim law is not codified, it is a free for all. Kuch bhi chalega, kaun puchnewala hai? This unhindered sense of
freedom in managing legal relations gives immense power to Muslim men. And the
support of the clergy only makes it worse. The clergy in India think that the
religion of Islam is their personal fiefdom and nobody, not even God can
interfere in their affairs. They are ruining the lives of women and also
tarnishing the fair name of Islam. Do they not realize that the Muslim
community has become a laughing stock for the larger society? And why will they
not laugh? The Muslim society has lost its conscience and lacks the courage to
question the existing inequities. It is killing itself from within.
The
indignity with which relationships are terminated in the Muslim society needs
to be questioned not just by the activists but by ordinary women and men. Divorce
by post and courier is common enough. Oral divorce is the bane which the whole
world is aware of anyway. Divorce by email and overseas trunk calls are gaining
ground. Husband sends divorce papers by registered post, wife signs innocuously
and receives the letter and lo her divorce is done! She had no idea that her
marriage is getting terminated as she signs. In another instance, divorce is
done as the husband, by fraud takes her signature saying it is for changing the
mobile sim card or simply by forging her signatures on the divorce papers
himself. Divorce is so easy for some men! One man took a little more trouble
and sent the divorce papers to his own father asking him to divorce his wife on
his behalf! One man did not even bother to find a good A-4 size sheet but tore
off a small chit of paper from a nearby book, wrote divorce on it three times
and threw it on his wife’s face! And that is not all, some men only need to
intend to divorce and the divorce is done. It is all in their minds, you see!
Poor woman does not even know that she has been divorced.
Inspite
of protests and ridicule the community refuses to change, which means that
there is no substitute for a good and just law which would legally prohibit unilateral
divorce. As a nation comprising of a large number of the Muslims we are late
anyway. A codified law is the need of the hour to stop men from behaving like
thugs in their own families.
